Romance has nothing to do with love. It is not real. Romance is your desire to make yourself complete through another person rather than through your own inner work.

Romantic love is just another name for Lust. Lust is a drug. It produces euphoria, energy and vitality. When you experience the organic drugs of Lust, you’re high —you think you've found someone to complete your life. But when that drug wears off, everything you felt before you took the drug returns. That is the moment of disillusionment. You think love is gone, but it is the drug-induced illusion that is gone.

This is when most people try to find  romantic love again. They think that the feelings they have experienced were produced the other person. So they look for someone else to provide these feeling of euphoria. But the drug-induced feelings associated with this person will eventually wear off, too. Then the feeling of romance will again fade and you will see this person for who they really are. 

While you are under the influence of these natural drugs we know as Lust, and you find someone you think is completing you, make a list of the things you love about that person. And know that these traits are qualities that you have the capability of cultivating within yourself.

— W. Somerset Maugham

  Another person can never give you those things.

The disintegration of romantic love is not a tragic loss. It contains the possibility of real growth within you. No one else can "rescue" or "save" you.

If you're searching for Mr/Ms Right, you're looking in the wrong direction.

Test your loving relationship

My relationship or relationship to be is different from everyone else’s and I will never have the problems other people do because our love is so strong.  a) True b) False

2) Love alone will overcome all obstacles.   a) True b) False

3) Arguing is a bad sign in a relationship.     a) True b) False

. Instead, you must do the inner work and become Ms/Mr Right yourself. Until you take setps to make yourself whole, you will not be able to experience true love.
The only way love lasts is if it continues to grow into something deeper. Gary says that true love has to do with giving, and caring for someone else. He defines Spiritual Partnership as a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. It's not possible to have a spiritual partnership with someone you think will "complete you".

Women are lied to and deceived by the many lies and fantasies that have been created by individuals and groups trying to explain the nature of Romantic Love — not realizing it is just an aspect of Lust.

A woman is lead to want a fairytale love story — the knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet. A suitor succeeds in gaining her love and marries her. The marriage ends. She thinks she has found another knight and marries him. This relationships fails, too. Now, years into her third marriage, she again feels like the romance is fading. Not knowing that romance is just another name for fantasy and Lust, she worries that the loss of passion means her husband doesn't love her anymore. She sees what she's looking for in romance novels and romantic movies, and believes she can have that, too. When she plans romantic trips and they don't turn out like the fantasy she imagined she ends up feeling sad and disappointed. Her husband says he would do anything for her, but thinks her problem is that she's not happy with herself. Sylvia says she no longer feels attractive, and is beginning to connect that she seeks romance to make her feel better about herself.

This woman has made a mistake in connecting her craving for romance with her unhappiness. Looking for romantic love is an addiction — it produces a good feeling, but never lasts very long. When the relationship and romance don't last, it is a painful experience that becomes even more painful every time it is repeated. Each time the lesson is ignored, it returns with more force, until the woman’s attention is completely focused on the pain of caused by the illusion.

At this point, the woman must choose whether to go back and repeat the pattern, or begin to look within herself for the answers.

Romantic love is a mixture of fantasy and Lust and has little to do with love. Romantic love has to do with what missing in yourself and are seeking desperately to find in someone else. Until we make ourselves whole, we are not really allowing ourselves to experience real love.

A spiritual partnership is one between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. When you look at the person you're with as someone who can complete you, you are not equals, because you believe that person has more power than you do.

4) The romance that my partner and I have will always stay just as passionate and romantic as it was in the beginning and our life will be like one long wonderful date.    

a) True b) False

5) It is important to go all out on your wedding  ceremony and receptions,  because it is your once in a lifetime special day and proves how much you love each other.    

a) True b) False

6) If a relationship is truly meant to be, then there should never be any conflicts or misunderstandings because you will know each other so well.    a) True b) False

7) When it comes to true love, it means that you and your partner only have eyes for each other and will never admire other people’s good looks or check them out.   

 a) True b) False  

8) If my partner is financially supporting me, then the least I can do is to tolerate his/her rude comments to me- they are simple releasing stress and I should not be so sensitive.    a) True b) False

 9) Sex will always be wonderful and if my partner starts losing interest or wants changes, then he/she is no longer attracted to me.    a) True b) False

 10) Money will never come between us or cause any stress in our relationship because we love each other. As long as we have our love, the problem will work itself out.   a) True b) False

11) Flirting with other people is a bad sign for a relationship and is a way of mentally cheating.   a) True b) False

12) If my partner does not feel like talking about a certain problem, I should just leave him/her alone; I will only create a bigger problem by trying to talk it out together.  a) True b) False

13) Having doubts about your relationship is a sign that things will not work out and that you should move on- no true loving relationship should have doubts.  True b) False